A Half-Hour Walk Can Make a Big Difference

A Half-Hour Walk Can Make a Big Difference

OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside...
How to Take Care of Your Skin: 9 Steps

How to Take Care of Your Skin: 9 Steps

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Army of Ghosts You’ve...
Drinking Bacardi rum can lead to instant death

Drinking Bacardi rum can lead to instant death

I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. When will I...
Human Brain without  vestigial organs

Human Brain without vestigial organs

Burn her anyway! Well, we did do the nose. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. Am I right? I am your king. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? How do you know she is a witch? Be quiet!...
8 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Deodorant

8 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Deodorant

There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Army had half a day. That’s why you always leave a note! Exit Strategy There’s so many poorly chosen...